Left Alive
by Sarcastic-Bludger
Summary: What if Lexa went on with the war against Arkadia? What if Clarke refused to leave her people? AU. One-shot.


**AN:** I recently started watching the 100 (as in, I've binge-watched the entire show this weekend), and watching the scene where Lexa agrees to peace made me wonder what would happen if she refused, and what would happen if Clarke went back to her people. This has not been beta'd, and it's barely been proofread. It is, obviously AU, based on a few words Lexa speaks. And I guess there's also kind of spoilers for season 3. Hope you enjoy!

\- Sarcastic-Bludger

 **Disclaimer** : I own nothing.

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"I'm not considering it. It's not an option."

While Indra breathed a sigh of relief, Clarke's shoulders straightened. Her eyes refused to leave Lexa's, and they told Lexa the only thing she needed to know. If _Heda_ wanted to massacre Clarke's people in retaliation, then she would be killing Clarke along with them.

"Then let me go."

"I can't."

"You will. Kill my people. Kill me. You don't get to choose war over peace while keeping me at your side. _Wanheda_ will give you all the power you need: when you kill her. I will die with my people. You will let me go."

"I won't."

"No, _Heda,_ let her go. You will have to keep her as a prisoner of war anyway, and the people will not tolerate that. She is leading her people. If she wants to die with them, let her."

Lexa glared at Indra. The general didn't back down. Clarke didn't know if she should be mad that the woman was willing to let her die that easily, or grateful that she seemed to be convincing Lexa to let her go.

"Look," Clarke began, "I understand what you're doing. You have the right. If you try to make me go back to Polis, if you try to leave me alive, I will make your life a living hell. Eventually, I will die anyway: at your hands or at mine."

The Commander's eyes hardened. Clarke was telling the truth. She'd never lied to her before, and It was clear that she wasn't lying now.

She looked up at the guards and nodded.

"Let her go. Both: Clarke and Octavia. We attack at sunrise tomorrow. _Jus drein jus daun_."

Blood must have blood.

Clarke didn't bother trying to warn them. There was no point. She went with Octavia to break the Grounders out of their internment. Apparently, some of the guards were still on their side. At her insistence, Lincoln and Octavia got the Grounders out of Arkadia: to seek sanctuary beyond the sea. If Luna refused to take them in, they were to create a village of their own, a village outside of the Clans.

For her own part, she refused to leave, even though Octavia and Lincoln tried to convince her too. She retreated to the med bay with her mom and Kane, determined to spend her last few hours with people she loved. At sunrise, she heard the guns start firing.

There weren't enough bullets. There were never going to be enough bullets. The _Skaikru_ were fighting to save their own asses. The Grounders were retaliating against a senseless massacre. Bullets were never going to be enough against personal pain and a need for vengeance.

Eventually the Grounders, led by Indra, got inside the Ark. Apparently, Indra ended Bellamy's life quickly: sparing him pain for sparing her life. Pike was not killed on sight. He was to be taken alive so that Lexa's people could have their vengeance. After all, the warriors killed were mothers, fathers, uncles and aunts and brothers and sisters. They were people's children.

Clarke still couldn't wrap her head around it. How could Bellamy allow the senseless murder of three hundred warriors who only wanted to help? How could he allow wounded to be massacred? She didn't understand. She couldn't understand.

The med bay was one of the last places hit. Two warriors Clarke didn't recognize along with Lexa entered the med bay. Her mom and Kane were dead before Clarke processed their entrance. The wounded already there were killed quickly, almost mercifully.

Lexa sent her warriors away.

"Congratulations _Heda_ , if you were ever wondering what it feels like to commit genocide, this is it."

"Don't do this, Clarke. I can still pardon you. I've pardoned Octavia and Lincoln already for being actively resistant. You weren't even here. I can still protect you."

Clarke scoffed. The scoff turned into a soft laugh. She considered crying but decided against it.

"Do you _honestly_ think it's that simple? No, Lexa. If you were willing to kill the rest of my people, you're going to have to be willing to kill me too."

"I won't. I can't."

"Anya didn't die a warrior's death. She was shot. By one of my people."

Lexa stiffened. Her eyes burned with rage and Clarke thought that this might finally be the end for her. She was talking her way into this, not out of it.

"Kill me."

"No. I think I'm going to make you live."

* * *

"When she is fed, there is not to be anything sharp on her plate. There will be a guard inside her cell always. If these orders are not carried out, if Clarke ends up dead anyway, anyone even remotely responsible will be dead before they can apologize."

"Please, _Heda_ , let Lincoln and I have most of the responsibility. You know we'll keep her alive."

Lexa considered it, finally nodding.

"That is acceptable."

Clarke was already in a cell near Lexa's own rooms. The Commander led Lincoln and Octavia there after delivering the orders to the rest of the guards who would be stationed at Clarke's cell. She left them at the door and entered, sending the guard already in there away.

"Lincoln and Octavia oversee your guard."

"I wouldn't need a guard if you'd just killed me."

"You will not die at my hands."

"Why not? You've left me to die before! You left me at the Mountain. You knew any other guard could've gotten to me at Arkadia before you di— "Clarke scoffed. She seemed to be making that noise a lot. "You didn't. You put out a capture alive order on me, didn't you? No one could kill me. You know, Lexa, you aren't saving anyone doing this. You aren't protecting your heart. Your heart would have been better off letting me die with my people. At least then you could've deluded yourself into thinking I still cared for you."

Clarke stood up, ignoring the fact that Lexa's eyes were starting to water.

"Now you get to live with the knowledge every day, that you killed my people. I'm not alive, Lexa! I'm dead. My spirit has died so many damn times. When I had to burn your people. When you left me at Mount Weather. When I thought you would die in a duel! When you ordered my people killed. Congratulations, Lexa, you have a walking, talking trophy. I might even eat and sleep. Do you know what you don't have?"

Lexa swallowed the lump in her throat.

"No. Clarke. What don't I have?"

"Me."

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 **AN:** Yes, that's really the end. No, there won't be any more. I still have another eight episodes to watch. Hope you enjoyed!


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